You Should Try Losing In 2024
Image by Nadi Lindsay
A man with saw-edged teeth slept in my closet when I was five. I shook at the idea of his nicked and bruised face peeking through the door. As kids, we often feared fictitious monsters under our bed or behind the closet door. You didn’t have to see the spine-chilling creatures to feel the doom pulling your chest to the floor. When you mix imagination and fear in children, the sum typically results, “I’m scared, can I please sleep with you tonight?” But what happens when you combine imagination and fear in adults?
It’s not the outlandish characters hiding in your room anymore. It’s all the dreams we silenced and kept filed away for the “right” time. Fear and Imagination in adults can sound like, “That’s nice, but it’s risky and I could fail.” It’s neglected passions we left behind because we didn’t want to experience losing our pride or comfort zone.
Fear in the face of uncertainty is the violent dream killer.
Image by Prateek Katyal
You should know fear isn’t all bad.
We draw lines, hold boundaries, and avoid harm because of fear. Being mindful of fear is a superpower. It’s unrealistic to always be fearless, but understanding when decisions are being made in fear will help you disarm it when necessary. Give your amygdala a pat on the back for keeping you safe today! <3
Deciding to live your dream takes an enormous amount of faith. To do that, you have to understand how faith works. Whether having faith in God, yourself, or others, faith is identical to fear. You don’t know the outcome but believe in its possibility despite the uncertainty.
I’m not saying it won’t take sacrifice and diligent work to keep this mindset, but if you could humor me for a moment, what dreams would you be living today if you didn’t fear failure?
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Loss is your unideal chance.
Avoiding loss means avoiding its gift. If you’ve bet on your dreams and lost, suffered losing a loved one, or lost the essence of yourself - I don’t need to explain the resilience it takes to move forward. It’s easy to resent the pain that caused the messy version of ourselves that juggles grief and anger. I didn’t find a resolution to the resentment until I came across a clip of Stephen Colbert and Anderson Cooper discussing how they’ve managed their grief and loss (clipped below).
Colbert asks Cooper, “What do you get from loss?”
“Connection,” Colbert answered for Cooper.
Through his grief, Cooper found that he could connect with people and find solace in being seen through the eyes of those whom he shared a similar experience with. Colbert found that his gift from loss was the ideology or realization that no human is exempt from suffering. Through this realization, he found it difficult to hate others for their differences.
Image by Patricia McCarty
My gift of loss is bravery.
It takes a courageous level of vulnerability to share deeply online. The same bravery that caused me to search for a life of meaning and purpose also inspired me to chase a dream, despite the uncertainty.
In 2024, I hope you win while chasing your dreams. But if you lose, remember your gift.
:)
